At this moment it is exactly one month till the 20th anniversary of my birth...oh yay.
For all those 19 to 20 yearolds looking to feel more grown up (just a little bit :D) go pick up this wonderfully written magazine.
I happen to pick up the July and September issues and I am convinced that my next extra $20 will be used towards getting a year's subscription.
I did it more or less as a joke really, just to see what the infamous OMag could add to my reading life.
Surprisingly, it was incredibly insightful. The July issue's mission (the theme each issues articles are centered around) was to encourage "going solo", being just a little more independent of a woman and learning to cherish alone time and use it to find out about yourself and how you could be living your best life. That's O's motto if you didnt know:
"Live your best life"
All the articles that issue really hit home. For all my life, I've been perpetually Cheryl's daughter or Jean's Granddaughter. Two titles I'm proud to hold, as both are ordinary women who have done extraordianry things. Still the need to branch out and come into my own has always been there, since I was little. I've written about it many times. I think seeing and hearing about all those extraordinary things has made me feel over shadowed a bit. Especially from Ma, instead of being my cheerleader, I've always felt like I was in an evertiring struggle of 'Anything you can do I can do better', with her.
I know it sounds selfish, but once, just once I'd like to hear someone say: "...And this is Ami's mother."
The August issue coincidentallly deals with "What's Next For You?...Getting Unstuck". An apt title if I do say so myself. And I do.
Yet another topic I've written about unmercifully is how stuck I feel here, in this skin, and in this life. The subject has become my broken record of sorts.
Anyway I started thumbing through, and I got to the included inspirational theme-keepng calendar. I hopped around the quips and quotes and the one for the 7th got to me. Christopher Reeve said it and ...there was something to it that gave that fading dreamer in me a swift kick.
"So many dreams at first seem impossible. And then they seem improbable. And then when we summon the will, they soon become inevitable"
This hit me like a friggin' mack truck.
A couple pages over, things ventured down an even creepier path, when one woman wrote into Dr. Phil about feeling underappreciated by her mother. He told her "......If mom is unable or unwilling to nurture, support, and validate you; then you must give yourself what you wish your mother would give you." Ok where's the hand book -----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Somebody must be trying to tell me something. All these little hints are fun. Taking my mom to work, I noticed a church on the way has a cute addage up on the marquee. "You'll never plow a field by turning it over in your mind" Well, OK! I WANT SOMETHING I GOTTA MOVE MY ASS! I GET IT ALREADY! But for now it is nearly midnight and I'm tired. More rants later,
AJ
I did not really just type that....
Anyway. I just let loose on my grandmother.
Lets start at the begining. A neigbor of ours cleaned out her book collection and gave them to me. She is very into Irish culture and one of the books was a travel how-to called "Rick Steve's Europe Through The Back Door". Great read...it made something I've always thought about doing sound so easy and fun; just taking off and exploring Europe for a month. So I went a little further, looked up a fe of the sites and started mapping out my own personal dream trip. Starting out in Barcelona and over the next two weeks covering Paris, Geneva, Nice/Monaco, and in the last two weeks the Mederterainean coast of Italy and Sicily. I found good prices and did my homework on the best quality priced hostels. I researched ISIC card discounts, and Eurail Flexipass prices...just to see how much it would all be for the chance to take off, rip of the blinders of Tampa, Florida, and the US for that matter; and find myself somewhere along the French Riviera.
Surprsingly, altogether I came up with a figure of under $2000. My mom was amazed at how much work I really put into something so spontaneouslly thought up.
That....was yesterday.
Today when I mentioned to my mom (while all three of us were watching big brother) about the benefits of the ISIC card, she thought it imperitive that she explain what I had swimmin' in my head. I saw it right away as the double edge sword that decision was. My mom mentioning it and how much thought I'd put into it might help, but on the other hand it is The Nana.
After the lovely segway from my mom, I started to tell her the details: the cites I wanted to visit, ect. Then I asked called her specifically ("....hey Nana") to stress the goodness of the plane fare. She just sat there sternly looking foward, and I stopped dead middle and did the same. Knowing that I was miffed she finally looked over to lecture me. "Ami your planning ths like we actully have the money to ever do it."
That female social instinct is dead on between the three of us - mom tried to remedy the situation by pointing out that I'm only 19, a kid, and that its ok to dream. These concepts were completley horrendous to The Nana. And then it happened, ( I swear it was the bad pie at Whistle Junction.) out of nowhere, one of the worst cases of verbal diarreah ever know to man.
"Well I'm not a 70 year old fucking bag like you! I actully want to go out and have a life!".
Mom chipes in sarcastically: "That wasnt very nice..".
"NO! It's True!". Cue the over dramatic storm-out, and.......cut film!
The really bad part is...I don't feel bad about saying it.
Over the past few days I've gotten some nice comments from a few choice people and that little voice that's ussually barely daring to call itself self-confidence, has been singing like the lead in Phantom. I beat myself up a lot mentally, I just don't consider myself worth anything good. I mean I'm just Ami!, you know. It's not like I've saved the world three times ( ;P ).
But this I feel like I deserve, I'm doing the legwork for it, researching everything. and if I really want to go I'll find a (leagal and tastefull) way to get it even if it takes a year or two.
Blah...I crazy, and I'm sorry and now I'm going to have that awkward no talking thick tension thing with her for a few days. No amount of damage control in the world is gonna make this even a little better. I'm just gonna wait it out for about a week. After the first couple of days, chip in a little extra around the house.
In other words, walk on eggshells til shes ready to be nice to me again.
God I just loveeee this life!
Thinking hard about the alternatives,
AJ
The lights are so much brighter the second time
Run away back, but the mess is still mine
The blades do their best but never get the job done
The ice gives in and melts like the setting sun
The bills arent paid
But my bed is made
Theres something to be said
For hot summer days
And so you pray
Hopin the night quickly comes
So the TV can tell you
Just how well you've done
My sandals and shirts continue to scream at me
"Were just glimpse of who you wanna be:"
Drama Queen, Fashion Slave
Do something noble, go find couple souls to save
Every night another war is launched in my room
Fire off the dead promises that could fill a mass tomb
Just as the earth cools off, we heat it up
You were wrong, no you were wrong, who gives a fuck?
The last part sucks I think. My eyes were getting heavy so....
Sent : Aug 15, 2005
When I got my Teen Vouge in the mail today, I made through it quickly with the usual compaines launching their new fall fare at me in the most creative ways their ad departments could come up with. An ad towards the back (pgs 286-287, to be exact) caught my eye. They layout was cool with a rather ample female's back side and some splatter paint.
Then I read it.
You guys rock!
Thats all I have to say...that and I'm in the market for a pair of quality tennishoes for a new job im starting...I'm thinkin' they're gonna be Nike.
Just doin' it,
AJ; Florida
Response: None Yet Recieved
To see the ad click Here
Summer has come and passed
The innocent can never last
wake me up when september ends
like my fathers come to pass
seven years has gone so fast
wake me up when september ends
here comes the rain again
falling from the stars
drenched in my pain again
becoming who we are
as my memory rests
but never forgets what I lost
wake me up when september ends
summer has come and passed
the innocent can never last
wake me up when september ends
ring out the bells again
like we did when spring began
wake me up when september ends
here comes the rain again
falling from the stars
drenched in my pain again
becoming who we are
as my memory rests
but never forgets what I lost
wake me up when september ends
Summer has come and passed
The innocent can never last
wake me up when september ends
like my father's come to pass
twenty years has gone so fast
wake me up when september ends
wake me up when september ends
wake me up when september ends
I start ballin' every time I hear this song on the raidio and I have no idea why.
Any way. The 23rd is a month and a half away and for all those people I would like to think visit this site I am annoucing one of the things I want.
I'm picky about which albums I buy. I generally have to have heard and liked about half the album before I'm convinced that I should pay noon; and 4 outta 11 aint bad. I think I might just treat myself to it with some of the birthday cash I get.
This is a test post from Photobucket.com
With the return of my brother came the introduction of me to one Malcom Gladwell; well his writing anyway. While in the keeys my brother had done something peculiar. He had gone to a book shop. Ok, Ok peculiar for him. Anyway, in is ruthless pursuit of all things that equal a better life, he bought two books. The first - Cracking the Millionaire Code : Your Key to Enlightened Wealth by Mark Victor Hansen, Robert G. Allen, is out of bounds for me until he finishes it. Guess I'll never find out how to crack it. The second, he finished while still in the keys, so I'm actully allowed the dubious distiction of being able to read it. Lucky me.
No really, lucky me...it's a really good book. A good read for all the machavellian's, conspiracy theorists, and wanna-be marketing geniouses out there. Malcom Gladwell's The Tipping Point, examines the 'epidemic' principle and how applies to just about everything from HushPuppies shoes to Paul Revere's midnight ride, not just viral and bacterial infections.
I'm not done yet but it's intresting. This book changes the way I've been looking at things, especially chapter 2 - The Law of The Few: Connectors, Mavens, and Salesmen. It basicly states that there are 3 types of people that are at the heart of 'epidemic' trends. Connectors, who know everybody and spread the message; Mavens, who know everything about something, and want help others so they spread the message; and Salesman, the persuaders who tell the people they know how good something is and spread the message.
I've been examning myself and others around me latley to see if they are any of those. I am, like my grandmother, a maven, my brother is both a connector and a salesman, my mom is connector.
I gotta hand it to an author that makes me look at my own family differently. Go read this book, and you'll be looking at the world differently.
The Soupy Memory Syndrome is back again. It sucks again. I got an interveiw again. I applied for college ag....aheh um wait....thats new.
Hmm.
Gallery Uploaded!
New Fanlisting Added: Daniel and Vala....cause there just so darn funny
Name:VoluptuAnJeL aka AJL aka Ami J. Leslie
Birthday:September 23
Nicks: AJ, Princess
Stuff I Love________
Food:Anything my grandmother makes, Fastfood - My Favorites: Taco Bell Crunch Wrap Supreme, Checkers Fries, Arby's Mozzarella Sticks, Wendy's Double Plain or Chicken Mandarin Salad, Sonic Milk Shake(you cannot crossover! specific items must be from the specific place!)
Drinks:Water, Arizona Green Tea, iced down original non fucked with CocaCola
Movies:Full Metal Jacket...Bicentenial Man was hot and I'll throw in The Truth About Cats and Dogs for some femininity.
Songs:It changes quite frequently, depending on my mood. Check out my playlist to see what I've been listening to.
Books:Scar Tissue - Anthony Kiedis,The Da Vinci Code - Dan Brown,The Harry Potter Series - Rowling (I've been reading them since middle school and I dont intend to stop until I've read them all.)
Shows:Stargate SG-1 and Atlantis (the hottest guys on tv), Big Brother, The OC, Joan of Arcadia (someone fixed the ratings!), Wonderfalls (they are phasing out are decent telivision!), Jeopardy
Colors:Navy/White/Silver, Brown/Pink
Stuff I Detest_________
Drinks:Diet Pepsi blech!
Food:Anything that I cook, bad frozen dinners
Movies:Titanic..was it possible that at one time i really was obbsessed with this? (circa 6th grade) its just so badly acted.
Songs:Is there really such thing as a bad song? Well ok i'll give you Bat Dance - Prince
Books:To Kill a Mocking Bird...Sorry, but I just dont see what all the fuss is about.
Shows:Wheel of Fortune! AKKKK! Blech! Worst show on telivision!
Colors:Any shade of green with the exception of a nice pale jade or properly coordinated hunter
Music's Playing_____
"Songs With Long Names" Playlist:
My Past Thoughts___
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